Posts tagged ‘letter’

September 26th, 2008

Spammed by Mailman

ATTN: Mailman

Please refrain from SHOVING any mail not addressed to me (aka mail addressed to “resident” or previous tenant, or whoever else) into the tiny-ass space my landlord deems “mailbox”. I don’t particularly care for the leaflet from the grocery store or the 17 pharmacies that are having a blowout on butterfingers... actually FUCK YOU! for putting those yummy butterfinger coupons in my mailbox... now I almost need to have one! Today I opened the mailbox to find it packed so tightly with crumpled mail, that I couldn’t get any of it out without the help of a boxcutter and fork. Below is a trash receptacle I purchased for mail addressed to “RESIDENT”... please deposit any letters/leaflets/packages so addressed in this bin.
Thanks
–Girl in Apt G

CategoryBlondness [thoughts] | CommentNo Comments »

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September 25th, 2008

Revocation of US Independence

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II...

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the United States of America and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. read more »

CategoryLaughs, politics, world | CommentNo Comments »

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