It seems at least 5 of my “friends” had a “siiiiicckkkkkkk chest workout” tonight. Great, it must be Monday, I don’t give shit.
S&M party pictures are up. Why is everyone so god damn ugly and why are all the guys so god damn small? A JP party really ain’t what it used to be.
242 of my friends changed their default photo. Of the 16 shown, not one is wearing a shirt (12 male, 4 female). Of the 12 shirtless men, I would have rather not seen 4 in anything sleeveless. Of the 8 hot shirtless men, 2 were gay. Of the 6 straight, hot, shirtless men, 3 had faces only a mother could love, 2 resided over 500 miles away and 1 I had already... had. *sigh*
While attemting to figure out my needs (with the help of google), I came across this clip: pretty accurate representation of a good portion of my years of therapy. Awesomeness.
“Katie I just need you to look at this picture and tell me what you see“
“A Penis.“
“How about this one?“
“A crooked penis“
“What about this one?“
“A wiggly penis“
“Ok... what about this one?“
“A cock.”
[MR. &MRS. VUITTON]
The people slowly walking on the treadmill in their Prada sneakers, Dolce sweatsuits with Gucci shades perched atop their heads.... in mid-December. Usually these individuals come in sets of two since they come to the gym to show off their new kicks and watches or when they’re simply bored rather than for any fitness value. Males have been spotted attired in loafers and dress slacks. *sigh*
Annoyance Factor: 1
[THESHEMAN]
The potential lesbian that resembles a man from every angle, and one you thought was a man until seeing him her topless bottomless in the ladies locker room.
Annoyance Factor: 2 (only because I have no idea how to respond) read more »
1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn’t (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total — 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that’s 91.8 million homes. One presumes there’s at least one good child in each.
3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). read more »
To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II...
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the United States of America and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. read more »
[THEBINDERGUY]
Could not think of a more creative name for this man, sorry. I have a training journal, this man carries around a thick 3-ring binder with plotted graphs of all his lifts over (possibly) the last decade, as well as any weird exercises he chooses to perform. The remaining contents of said binder remain a mystery, since coming near him to check it out kinda freaks me out. Go ahead, put your numbers into excel when you get home, but you don’t need to carry the entire presentation with you to the gym!
Annoyance Factor: 1
[THEDESTITUTE]
He is probably not, but since it seems he only owns one outfit (which he trains in daily) makes me conclude that he is a. poor, b. lazy, c. a man of poor hygiene, but most likely d. all of the above.
Annoyance Factor: 2 read more »
[THEDIVA]
Male of female that is totally in love with him or herself. Spends most of the time in front of a mirror, flexing or checking out gluteal region. Often disrobes for an audience or remains attired in dental floss while prancing around the building and working on “posing”. Distracting since you can’t help but look... since it’s kinda hot.
Annoyance Factor: 1 (since it adds to the ambiance)
[TIGHT-PANTS]
A DUDE who wants there to be ABSOLUTELY no confusion about his gender. Usually found on a stationary bike or in the spin class, easy to spot since he will usually wear ridiculously bright colors.
Annoyance Factor: 2 read more »
Some content stolen from my BodySpace blog from 2007: I do a lot of cardio, so I get to do a lot of people watching… as always I am pleased to regale all with some more stupidity I have witnessed in the gym in the past few days…
Weighed Down.
You know those weight vest thingies? Well… I understand wearing one while you climb stairs. I can somewhat understand walking in one…. BUT how does it help you when you are on a recumbent bike?! Someone please explain… its kinda like watching TV with a dumbbell in your lap. More amusing are the surrounding individuals who look at the guy with a straight face... read more »
Some content stolen from my BodySpace blog from 2007: I do a lot of cardio, so I get to do a lot of people watching… as always I am pleased to regale all with the stupidity I have witnessed in the gym in the past few days…
Strapped On.
In my recent perusing of the various bodybuilding boards I frequent, I keep finding posts describing some ridiculous misuse of straps... now every time I see some kid get his out of the packaging, I pay special attention. Now, if said kid, would just read whatever is described on the packaging as “proper use”, he wouldn’t be compelled to try them out for his dumbbell curls. True story. Douchebaggery with tricep-isolating-cable-related maneuvers has also been witnessed (cable pushdowns, if you’re trying to picture this). Similar douchebaggery has been observed on the bench press. I am still waiting for some douchebag to use straps for their cable crossovers… going to switch to the treadmill closer to the cables to stalk... stay tuned. read more »
Mood : Amazed 
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To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth 
Some content stolen from my 