Mood : Amazed 
I reminisce of the stale crowd of New York Spots Club as I fight the urge to take a short nap on the second elliptical from the left wall... I admit, it is the one at the perfect angle from the mirror, strategically placed so as to allow me a full view of myself in the mirror in the event my eyes wander away from the textbook afore me¹. I am on this elliptical because the innumerable stress fractures (courtesy of treadmill, first from fountain) riddling my feet need to heal... Absolutely no idea why I choose to reminisce of such a dull moment, as I step/pedal away on a similar machine, years later, miles away. read more »
April 7th, 2010
Cardio ❤
February 5th, 2010
PSA #27: Attention, Gentlemen.
For the love of God, please refrain from performing any and all:
{“leg-spreading maneuvers (i.e. abductor machine)”}
...while attired in short, loose fitting shorts.
At least at my gym.
Thanks.
December 10th, 2008
Gym Characters: Volume III
[MR. & MRS. VUITTON]
The people slowly walking on the treadmill in their Prada sneakers, Dolce sweatsuits with Gucci shades perched atop their heads.... in mid-December. Usually these individuals come in sets of two since they come to the gym to show off their new kicks and watches or when they’re simply bored rather than for any fitness value. Males have been spotted attired in loafers and dress slacks. *sigh*
Annoyance Factor: 1
[THE SHEMAN]
The potential lesbian that resembles a man from every angle, and one you thought was a man until seeing him her topless bottomless in the ladies locker room.
Annoyance Factor: 2 (only because I have no idea how to respond) read more »
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May 3rd, 2008
Cornered by Wackjob
So this girl comes up to me today at this random gym I decided to work out at for the day with the kind greeting of “You fucked my boyfriend!” Bewildered, surprised and at a loss of words, the only thing I could mumble out was... “Ummm...... ok”. I decided to further investigate the issue before simply saying “Oops, he wasn’t labeled”...
She wouldn’t tell me her name, or the name of the boyfriend in question and from what I could tell, she had no clue what my name was.... but she absolutely KNEW that I was the girl that her Mr.Wonderful had done something with at some point in the past. As I mentally recited my entire sexual history, I made the mistake of asking her why she was still with the asshole if he had cheated on her (whether it was with me or not, was completely irrelevant). Unsure of the answer to my question, and without the slightest clue of what she had hoped to accomplish with this unanticipated encounter, she stormed away.... Weird....
April 24th, 2008
Fuck You, NYSC
I love gyms. I love the atmosphere, the people, the weights, that feeling you get when you just completed a great workout. But I also hate gyms. The pesky trainers, the guy that likes using my favorite treadmill, the people that just get in the way of your workout running smoothly and of course the membership sales people, the money-hungry big-gyms and the whole “closing early on sunday” thing.... ah... that’s what I will bitch about today [please note that most of this post was written on my iPhone while waiting for a sales person]. So here I am, visiting my mother, about 45 minutes from home. It’s sunday afternoon... even if I fly down the parkway, I’ll get a 30 minute workout... tops! So I head to my old gym... a gym that has over 100 locations within the tri-state area, a gym that I’ve belonged to since I was old enough to drive, a gym that I have worked for, a gym that has charged me sixty-something dollars a month for as long as I can remember (at least they kept my low rate, all these years), a gym that “automatically renewed” my read more »
April 12th, 2008
Gym Characters: Volume II
[THE BINDER GUY]
Could not think of a more creative name for this man, sorry. I have a training journal, this man carries around a thick 3-ring binder with plotted graphs of all his lifts over (possibly) the last decade, as well as any weird exercises he chooses to perform. The remaining contents of said binder remain a mystery, since coming near him to check it out kinda freaks me out. Go ahead, put your numbers into excel when you get home, but you don’t need to carry the entire presentation with you to the gym!
Annoyance Factor: 1
[THE DESTITUTE]
He is probably not, but since it seems he only owns one outfit (which he trains in daily) makes me conclude that he is a. poor, b. lazy, c. a man of poor hygiene, but most likely d. all of the above.
Annoyance Factor: 2 read more »
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February 4th, 2008
Gym Characters: Volume I
[THE DIVA]
Male of female that is totally in love with him or herself. Spends most of the time in front of a mirror, flexing or checking out gluteal region. Often disrobes for an audience or remains attired in dental floss while prancing around the building and working on “posing”. Distracting since you can’t help but look... since it’s kinda hot.
Annoyance Factor: 1 (since it adds to the ambiance)
[TIGHT-PANTS]
A DUDE who wants there to be ABSOLUTELY no confusion about his gender. Usually found on a stationary bike or in the spin class, easy to spot since he will usually wear ridiculously bright colors.
Annoyance Factor: 2 read more »
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May 3rd, 2007
More Gym Stupidity
Some content stolen from my BodySpace blog from 2007: I do a lot of cardio, so I get to do a lot of people watching… as always I am pleased to regale all with some more stupidity I have witnessed in the gym in the past few days…Weighed Down.
You know those weight vest thingies? Well… I understand wearing one while you climb stairs. I can somewhat understand walking in one…. BUT how does it help you when you are on a recumbent bike?! Someone please explain… its kinda like watching TV with a dumbbell in your lap. More amusing are the surrounding individuals who look at the guy with a straight face... read more »
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April 27th, 2007
Some Gym Stupidity
Some content stolen from my BodySpace blog from 2007: I do a lot of cardio, so I get to do a lot of people watching… as always I am pleased to regale all with the stupidity I have witnessed in the gym in the past few days…
Strapped On.
In my recent perusing of the various bodybuilding boards I frequent, I keep finding posts describing some ridiculous misuse of straps... now every time I see some kid get his out of the packaging, I pay special attention. Now, if said kid, would just read whatever is described on the packaging as “proper use”, he wouldn’t be compelled to try them out for his dumbbell curls. True story. Douchebaggery with tricep-isolating-cable-related maneuvers has also been witnessed (cable pushdowns, if you’re trying to picture this). Similar douchebaggery has been observed on the bench press. I am still waiting for some douchebag to use straps for their cable crossovers… going to switch to the treadmill closer to the cables to stalk... stay tuned. read more »
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