Mood : Amazed 
You see a One Night Stand. I see early onset Alzheimer’s.
August 10th, 2009
Fuck With Dignity
Throw enough shit against a wall, some will stick. Ladies, why are you trying to impersonate “shit”? Seriously. Think about it. Send out a search party for your self-esteem, as you seem to have misplaced it somewhere. It is a statistical impossibility that every girl on Facebook had a daddy that didn’t tell her she was beautiful and a mother that didn’t teach her how to be a “Lady”. Regardless of what the problem is, please take whatever steps necessary to fix it. I always said... figure out what you want, figure out how you’re going to get it, execute plan. It’s OK to not really know what you want in a guy, it’s OK to try to figure that part out... usually you will have a pretty clear picture of what you want after you realize what you don’t. Hell, it’s even OK to not want a guy, nothing wrong with remaining single and merely browsing through cock (you might even find one you like enough to suck for more than 15 seconds), I suppose. But whatever your purpose, you should make that clear (at the very least to yourself). Also, whatever method you choose in trying to fulfill said purpose (i.e. trying to find a boyfriend, dating, random sex, etc.) should not reek of desperation. It’s not cute. It’s pathetic. If you want to date, be a lady about it. If you just want to fuck the shit out of some cute guy you don’t know and would prefer to not know his name... do that, by all means... but do it with dignity. read more »
August 2nd, 2008
Give A Fuck
I made a New Year’s resolution, quite a few months back...
“The next guy I wake up sleep with, I will give a fuck about” I decided at the stroke of midnight, January 1, 2008*. A whole new year ahead, to be a whole new me. Yes, this is the same resolution I make every year, it seems, but I was sure that this time it would somehow be different. I can resolve to “fall in love”, but that would be way too Carrie Bradshaw, and I don’t really “fall in love” on cue... so intending to have meaningful sex with boys that actually mean something to me seemed like a doable alternative.... read more »
August 12th, 2007
Déjà Blog
I crawl out of bed and head for his laptop... can’t sleep, so I’ll blog for lack of anything better to do. I woke up with this guy... one of those guys that during the morning hours looks good only when naked in bed, completely expressionless and silent. Sadly, this is the extent of his attraction, because like many who came before him, when he does open his mouth, you come to the immediate realization that you just fucked someone with a double digit IQ... something that is as unacceptable as it is painful to admit, and utterly unbearable combined with the seemingly lethal hangover presumably accompanying the experience....
[i swear to god i wrote this before]
read more »
July 13th, 2007
One Night Stand #A679-JP
The Fourth Commandment of One-Night Stands states that one must not leave incriminating evidence: I delete the pictures from his camera while fiddling with my shoe’s ankle strap as he does something to his hair in the bathroom. Quickly perusing through the remaining photos, I confirm that he is, in fact...
a total douchebag.
Douchebag has a sick apartment, I must say. Looking down at the lights of South Beach, I wonder if my friends are still at the same place I left them... I feel semi-guilty (because I seem to have established a small pattern of ditching this same group of guys to go play with... come to think of it, it was usually the same person). I search for his cell phone while I hear the water run... “3 Missed Calls” from a “Mandy”. Mandy left 3 voice mails and i’m going to guess none of them are pleasant. I delete the entry with my number: an entry he misspelled. [major pet-peeve] read more »
July 13th, 2007
The 10 Commandments of 1 Night Stands
Why? Because people just can’t seem to get shit right.
- Thou shalt use a condom.
Self-explanatory. - Thou shalt not fuck thy friends.
Friends are off limits. This had been tested and retested and it has been concluded that the person MUST be a stranger. Fucking someone you hang out with every weekend defeats the purpose of it being a 1-Night-Stand... and is a good way to make things complicated... MUST...
a. you realize you want more
b. they realize they want more
c. they assume they got upgraded to fuckbuddy-status and want sex every time they see you... and you just... don’t.
d. things just become weird
...either way it’s an unnecessary headache. Good-bye friendship... at least for a while. There is plenty stranger-cock out there, so leave friend-cock off limits. read more »