December 10th, 2008
[MR. & MRS. VUITTON]
The people slowly walking on the treadmill in their Prada sneakers, Dolce sweatsuits with Gucci shades perched atop their heads.... in mid-December. Usually these individuals come in sets of two since they come to the gym to show off their new kicks and watches or when they’re simply bored rather than for any fitness value. Males have been spotted attired in loafers and dress slacks. *sigh*
Annoyance Factor: 1
[THE SHEMAN]
The potential lesbian that resembles a man from every angle, and one you thought was a man until seeing him her topless bottomless in the ladies locker room.
Annoyance Factor: 2 (only because I have no idea how to respond) read more »
Blondness [thoughts], Health | Fitness, Laughs | 
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September 10th, 2008
So I picked up the pocket-sized Skinny Bitch (Freedman/Barnouin) at Target this afternoon 1. I stopped wanting to read it around page 30, but finished solely out of curiosity of how ridiculous the book could possibly get/ my need to finish whatever I start... I rarely do a Play-By-Play of anything, but reading this book aroused a lot of words that had to be put down on paper... er.... screen...
Chapter 1 is pretty sound, outside of the fact that the book is written in the “drunken cheerleader” dialect of English (in which I haven’t been fluent in about half a decade). Fat is unhealthy, cigarettes are bad, alcohol is bad, coffee is bad)... pretty much the standard first chapter of any diet book.
Chapter 2 deals with distinguishing between “good” and “bad” carbs and lectures us on the importance of eating them... complete with loads of fruit and bread (Dr. Atkins is turning in his grave). read more »
Health | Fitness, literature | No Comments »
April 12th, 2008
[THE BINDER GUY]
Could not think of a more creative name for this man, sorry. I have a training journal, this man carries around a thick 3-ring binder with plotted graphs of all his lifts over (possibly) the last decade, as well as any weird exercises he chooses to perform. The remaining contents of said binder remain a mystery, since coming near him to check it out kinda freaks me out. Go ahead, put your numbers into excel when you get home, but you don’t need to carry the entire presentation with you to the gym!
Annoyance Factor: 1
[THE DESTITUTE]
He is probably not, but since it seems he only owns one outfit (which he trains in daily) makes me conclude that he is a. poor, b. lazy, c. a man of poor hygiene, but most likely d. all of the above.
Annoyance Factor: 2 read more »
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February 4th, 2008
[THE DIVA]
Male of female that is totally in love with him or herself. Spends most of the time in front of a mirror, flexing or checking out gluteal region. Often disrobes for an audience or remains attired in dental floss while prancing around the building and working on “posing”. Distracting since you can’t help but look... since it’s kinda hot.
Annoyance Factor: 1 (since it adds to the ambiance)
[TIGHT-PANTS]
A DUDE who wants there to be ABSOLUTELY no confusion about his gender. Usually found on a stationary bike or in the spin class, easy to spot since he will usually wear ridiculously bright colors.
Annoyance Factor: 2 read more »
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May 3rd, 2007
Some content stolen from my
BodySpace blog from 2007: I do a lot of cardio, so I get to do a lot of people watching… as always I am pleased to regale all with some more stupidity I have witnessed in the gym in the past few days…
Weighed Down.
You know those weight vest thingies? Well… I understand wearing one while you climb stairs. I can somewhat understand walking in one…. BUT how does it help you when you are on a recumbent bike?! Someone please explain… its kinda like watching TV with a dumbbell in your lap. More amusing are the surrounding individuals who look at the guy with a straight face... read more »
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April 27th, 2007
Some content stolen from my BodySpace blog from 2007: I do a lot of cardio, so I get to do a lot of people watching… as always I am pleased to regale all with the stupidity I have witnessed in the gym in the past few days…
Strapped On.
In my recent perusing of the various bodybuilding boards I frequent, I keep finding posts describing some ridiculous misuse of straps... now every time I see some kid get his out of the packaging, I pay special attention. Now, if said kid, would just read whatever is described on the packaging as “proper use”, he wouldn’t be compelled to try them out for his dumbbell curls. True story. Douchebaggery with tricep-isolating-cable-related maneuvers has also been witnessed (cable pushdowns, if you’re trying to picture this). Similar douchebaggery has been observed on the bench press. I am still waiting for some douchebag to use straps for their cable crossovers… going to switch to the treadmill closer to the cables to stalk... stay tuned. read more »
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April 7th, 2007
seriously. fuck easter. easter and everything it stands for*
Blondness [thoughts], my training journal | No Comments »
Mood : Amazed 