It seems at least 5 of my “friends” had a “siiiiicckkkkkkk chest workout” tonight. Great, it must be Monday, I don’t give shit.
S&M party pictures are up. Why is everyone so god damn ugly and why are all the guys so god damn small? A JP party really ain’t what it used to be.
242 of my friends changed their default photo. Of the 16 shown, not one is wearing a shirt (12 male, 4 female). Of the 12 shirtless men, I would have rather not seen 4 in anything sleeveless. Of the 8 hot shirtless men, 2 were gay. Of the 6 straight, hot, shirtless men, 3 had faces only a mother could love, 2 resided over 500 miles away and 1 I had already... had. *sigh*
1. The fact that 34 guys on Facebook “like” a picture of you posing in front of your bathroom mirror in underwear does not actually make you hot.
2. Throwing yourself at each and every guy you find attractive on facebook, finding one that tells you you’re hot, then throwing yourself into his bed does not constitute “dating”. He was bored/horny, you were convenient, you have no grounds to cry that he’s commenting on some other girl’s pics the day after.
3. If you feel the need to “mark your territory”... it ain’t your territory. Letting his 3 thousand friends know that his cock was in your mouth that very morning does not make him your man, it makes you a notch on his bedpost. Stop advertising yourself as a cumdumpster, it’s pathetic to watch.
4. I get it. Women are incapable of making their own decisions. Something is only beautiful if others think it’s beautiful and a guy is only a “catch” if other girls want him... yadda yadda yadda.... you fucking look like snooki and your “boyfriend” is cheating on you left and right. Grow a brain. Get out of the tanning bed. Stop using a sharpie for eyeliner. Get rid of any guy who makes you wonder if you mean anything to him at all. read more »
While attemting to figure out my needs (with the help of google), I came across this clip: pretty accurate representation of a good portion of my years of therapy. Awesomeness.
“Katie I just need you to look at this picture and tell me what you see“
“A Penis.“
“How about this one?“
“A crooked penis“
“What about this one?“
“A wiggly penis“
“Ok... what about this one?“
“A cock.”
Half the time you really have no idea what you need... so to spare yourself the thought process, might as well rely on Google to tell you... go to Google and enter your name and the word “needs” [i.e. Katie needs] . Click search. Record the first 10 results. Voilà.
Katie needs a psychologist.
Katie needs to smile.
All Katie needs is love.
Katie needs IV fluids.
Katie needs hula lessons.
Katie needs your help.
Katie needs a shrink.Which we won’t count since it’s a redundancy.
Katie needs Facebook.
Katie needs to work on her posture.
Katie needs some caffeine.
Katie needs the cash.
Will not dispute most of the list. Did not take my meds this morning so could def use the caffeine... maybe even the IV fluids... iffy on the Hula, though I almost took a ballet class the other day... and the Facebook thing... well... for networking purposes... might just not be that bad of an idea.
So... I had this BADFacebook Habit. The Facebook Habit had a sub-habit... and that was Mafia Wars. Stupid, addictive shit I started playing because of some stupid Boy that ended up consuming way too many minutes of the time I could have spent being productive (Mafia wars, not the Boy, although some will make an argument that it was both). Having been Mafia-Wars-Free for about 2 weeks now, I almost relapsed when I found out that there was actually an Über Gift to be gotten by buying junk food at 7–11! So I did a bit of research (before reactivating my account)... 50 Skill Points? That’s not Über at all... so over it.
Look for it and all kinds of other Zynga-fied snacks at your local 7–11. I had a Yoville Brownie for breakfast yesterday. Tasted just as bad as the standard 7–11 Brownie... Yoville sticker actually made it a tad more nauseating. For brownies, go to Wawa. For cheaper Diet Pepsi 2 liter bottles, go to Wawa. For taquitos of unknown origin that taste absolutely delicious as long as you don’t think about what exactly it is you’re putting in your mouth... go to 7–11.
Will there be a Mafia Wars clothing line following this? Because I would like a pair of Mafia Wars flip flops... you know, so I can make a statement while getting a pedicure.
Anything you post can and will be dug up by a prospective employer 5 years later and most definitely be used against you. Really. Might as well put it on your resume that there’s photos of your ass floating around the internet...
{ Interests: social networks, culinary arts, figure modeling, chess. }
In case you were wondering what my Vacation from Facebook* was all about... The 10 occurrences that lead me to conclude that Facebook Had To Go.
1. I actually used “facebook” in conversation. Fuck, I actually have had entire conversations about facebook. Double-fuck. I used to make fun of those people whose daily events consisted of someone’s “reply” to a “status”... people wouldn’t dare discuss such stupidity with me, and yet here I sat, on the phone actually LISTENING and CONTRIBUTING to such childish nonsense... fuck, I feel like I have regressed to 7th grade. read more »
“You know that good girl that you somehow managed to get, the one that’s always there for you, that you trust with your everything, that puts up with your bullshit, that you walk all over because you know she will always forgive you, the one you know will always take you back... because she doesn’t care about who you are, your looks or your money... because she actually loves your sorry ass and will never ever leave you? Yea... Her. She is going to ruin your life. She is not going to take half of everything you got, she is going to take everything there is to take.... and you’ll probably cry over her for the rest of your life. Just trust me on that one.“
–Me (08.10.09)
Maybe I was a bit emotional when I said that 10 months ago... but only because it was my third time delivering a message that had been twice ignored. Today, divorce papers in hand, I’m betting he wishes he responded differently. read more »
Mood : Ecfuckingstatic 
1. The fact that 34 guys on Facebook “like” a picture of you posing in front of your bathroom mirror in underwear does not actually make you hot.
Half the time you really have no idea what you need... so to spare yourself the thought process, might as well rely on Google to tell you... go to Google and enter your name and the word “needs” [i.e. Katie needs] . Click search. Record the first 10 results. Voilà.
So... I had this 
In case you were wondering what my Vacation from Facebook* was all about... The 10 occurrences that lead me to conclude that Facebook Had To Go.
“You know that good girl that you somehow managed to get, the one that’s always there for you, that you trust with your everything, that puts up with your bullshit, that you walk all over because you know she will always forgive you, the one you know will always take you back... because she doesn’t care about who you are, your looks or your money... because she actually loves your sorry ass and will never ever leave you? Yea... Her. She is going to ruin your life. She is not going to take half of everything you got, she is going to take everything there is to take.... and you’ll probably cry over her for the rest of your life. Just trust me on that one.“