Archive for May, 2009

May 2nd, 2009

10 Items of Less

...perfect example of the average adult’s lack of basic arithmetic proficiency, as some lady tries to justify her cart full of soda bottles as one item... I count at least twenty. The half-asleep clerk does not “count” at all... and rather than count the bottles and key in the quantity and scan one item* proceeds to scan each of the 2 liter Mountain Dew bottles individually. FML.

Lessons Learned:

  • The express lane is always staffed by the least competent cashier with lacking arithmetic skills and slothlike tempo... A predicament that results in the “express” lane being the most time consuming (at least at 7:30am). read more »
May 2nd, 2009

Summer Shopping: 2009

summer (n) the warmest season of the year: annually preceded by summer shopping, an annoyingly-wearying ritual involving shopping for barely-there clothing and related accoutrements....

Some notes on today’s shopping...

Why are they putting ruffles on  everything?

Would a dress with the word “faith” on the ass match a hat that says “sinner”?

Trying to find something to go with those “pewter” shoes I bought in september and haver not yet worn... no luck.

How is Juicy Couture still in business when everything they make is only appropriate to wear post-bath? Am fairly certain I could improvise a “Juicy Dress” with a safety pin and a towel purchased at IKEA.

We should leave all designing of women’s fashions to the men. Why? Because men, gay or straight, seem to have a clue of what accentuates the female form, I theorize this is read more »